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Step 1

Make sure that good relationships are a priority.
Treat the other person with respect. Follow etiquette. Do your best to be courteous and polite, and to discuss matters constructively. It is all about relationships.

 

Step 2

Separate people from problems.
Focus on the “problem” and not the “person”
Recognize that, in many cases, the other person is not “being difficult” – real and valid differences can lie behind conflicting positions. By separating the problem from the person, you can discuss issues without damaging relationships.

Step 3

Listen carefully to different interests.
You’ll get a better understanding of why people have adopted their position if you try to understand their point of view. Listen objectively.

Step 4

Listen first, talk second.
There is a reason we have two ears and only one mouth!
Listen with empathy, and try to see the conflict from each participant’s point of view before defending your own position.

Explain issues clearly and concisely.

Encourage people to use “I” rather than “you” statements, so that no one feels attacked.

Encourage everyone to be clear about their feelings.

Remain flexible and adaptable.

Once you’ve listened to everyone’s needs and concerns, outline the behaviors and actions that you will or won’t tolerate, and gain the opposing parties’ agreement to change.
Interestingly when we listen like this sometimes we hear something that will change our original conception of the problem mind.

Step 5

Set out the “facts.”
You’ll need to agree with the problem that you are trying to solve before you can find a mutually acceptable solution, and you should agree with the facts that are relevant to the situation.
Decide on the visible facts that might impact your decision, together – holistically.

 

Step 6

Explore options together.
By this stage, you may have resolved the conflict. Each side will likely understand the other’s position better, and the most appropriate solution might be obvious.
Be open to the idea that a third position may exist, and that you might reach it jointly.

Those are the 6 steps – By following these steps you can become an effective catalyst  between conflicting parties.